In this episode, we explore three relational skills that often get confused:
Validation says, “If I am you—with your history, family of origin, and the meaning this held for you—I understand how you got there.”
Agreement says, “I reached essentially the same conclusion.”
Accepting influence says, “Because you matter to me, what you shared is allowed to affect my understanding or what I do next.”
We also talk about epistemic humility: trusting what we know without assuming we know everything. We may be wrong. We may have forgotten something. We may not have communicated as clearly as we thought. If we haven’t asked for another perspective, we can’t assume there isn’t one.
Drawing from John Gottman’s work, we look at why men in heterosexual relationships may be less likely to recognize when they are resisting their partner’s influence—especially when their own perspective begins as “right” and she has to prove it wrong.
And we name an important limit: good relational skills can become harmful in relationships without safety, accountability, and mutuality.
You don’t have to abandon what you see to become capable of seeing more.
Listen to the full episode of Thanks for Sharing.
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